Allison Butler came into the world on a beautiful warm August day in 1972 and has been like a ray of sunshine ever since. She had an indomitable spirit, so strong that nothing this world would send her way could suppress her smile.

Alli was an athletic, intelligent, imaginative girl who loved life. She was a fantastic older sister, daughter and friend. Her self-confidence and humour drew people to her at an early age and she became a centre of her family and community.

The accident in 1983 brought a lot of pain and suffering to Alli and those in her life. And yet, through this tragedy Alli's irrepressable spirit shone on and found a way to touch many people's lives. People who knew nothing of the gregarious, beautiful little girl who Alli had been found themselves touched by her. They recognized and admired Alli's strength, courage and love of life, which allowed her to live another 24 years.

Perhaps nothing displayed the strength of Alli's spirit more than the way she died early Tuesday morning. While losing a battle with a chest infection, Alli had to fight hard just to breath a couple of times a minute. With sheer will and determination, Alli held on for hours until all of her family could be around to say goodbye. Minutes after this happened, she just let go. Alli had a difficult journey but it wasn't in vain. She left behind a wake of energy in the lives of many people. Her strength, happiness, and love of life will live on through her family and friends.

I am proud she was my big sister.

So, I guess the plague is contagious

I learned two new things about the flu this last week.
1. It is contagious. I guess I knew that but our house has been like a mini science experiment and we are all contaminated petri dishes.
2. The flu does different things to different people.

I learned three things about my children.

1. Finny gets ear infections. She gets this from my brother who routinely went down with ear infections as a child. Oh boy, did he ever cry like a baby (to be fair, he was a baby...)
2. Molly is a puker. She gets this from me. I have always been great friends with Ralph. I sat her down and let her know where this beautiful genetic gift came from. I taught her the lessons of The Puker. The negative part of this vomitous predisposition is that you will spend a lot of time puking (that seems obvious). The benefit is that you become so inured to it that you become that seemingly impossible thing: the graceful puker. That's right. Instead of freaking out or crying, I (and soon Molly too) can just lean over, sweep my hair out of the way and technicolour yawn like nobody's business. I then delicately wipe my face and help myself to another burrito. This skill comes in handy during the university years, although I didn't impart that to Molly just yet...
3. Lukey is a trooper. His inability to breathe through his nose finally made him upset, but only when it got the point of panic when he couldn't really draw a breath. I had him at Children's hospital on Friday on the advice of our family doctor. They were also impressed with his friendly disposition, particularly given his level of discomfort. He almost broke the nurse's heart when he smiled up at her right before she suctioned his nose. FYI, that looks like an uncomfortable procedure.

Eric has also semi-succumbed to the bug but I keep telling him that he hasn't seen the half of it yet. It's a fun game because every time he complains, I roll my eyes and tell him he had better enjoy this stage because it gets worse before it gets better. I love the stricken expression he rewards me with each time I say it. I however, am on the mend. There's a little glimmer of hope for those of you coming down with the flu...a quick three weeks and you'll be right back in the game.

The plague, the plague!

Before you send the health authorities over to forcefully quarantine our house, it MIGHT not be the ACTUAL plague. It might just be the flu. But it has hit Finny hard. Last night I was downstairs enriching my mind watching Studio 60 (apparently I am the only one that does...) when I heard a delusional little voice protesting, "Me not a baby. Not a baby. Me not..." I went upstairs to investigate and found Finny thrashing around on the floor, every single hair on her head stuck to her face with sweat. Her fever was over 103. Remember when you were a little kid and you felt sick or had a midnight confession to make? You go downstairs to another world...a tidier, quieter grown-up world. So I brought Finny down into my peaceful calm. We poured her some Gatorade, with a straw of course. Made her a nest on the couch. Mopped her wet brow and talked crazy late night talk. It was kind of fun.

I placed a quick call to Mr. First-Aid (Eric) who was at work, just to make sure that I shouldn't be rushing her to the hospital. You always have that vision in your head...you know, of the inquest after everything goes wrong: "You are telling me, Ms. McKnight, that you TRULY thought GATORADE would cure meningitis? Well, you can think over the wisdom of that course of action IN PRISON..."

Eventually we all went up to my bed where Lukey and I slept in Finny's salty puddle o' sweat. She appears to be on the mend today. As I type, she is using the toilet roll holder (you know the thing with the spring that goes through the roll?) to stir pretend soup. So I guess the next illness will be the bacterial infection that she gets from touching that disgusting thing.

E- Recycling on a whole different scale!

Posts written by Eric will have an "E" in the title...

This is a picture that Colin Jones, a friend who I work with, took of Vancouver. The original photo, in high resolution, is one of the best I have seen of the city.

Speaking of this beautiful city, we seem to have a number of friends who are thinking of moving away to the quiet of the Gulf Islands or the Sunshine Coast. One of the draw -backs is the cost of trying to build in such remote locations. This company,Nickel Brothers , that our neighbour works for has a unique solution to this problem that is a great example of a win-win-win situation. They take old houses otherwise slated for demolition, put them on a flatbed before shipping them by barge to the final destination. The owner of the original home owner is happy because he has saved on demolition costs. The new owner gets a perfectly good house for as little as $30,000, a fraction of what it would cost to build in these locations. The company makes some good money, all the while saving tons of materials from the landfill.

First conversation I had this morning...

Scene: Me, getting dressed for the day. Finny, standing beside me.

F: Mumma lots of moles on back (tone of disgust). Yucky.

M: Ummm. That's true (slightly saddened expression on face)

F: Sorry Mumma. Sorry for saying yucky...

M: That's ok Finny (which it is, but barely). You can tell mummy if you think something is yucky. You think they are yucky?

F: (long hesitation...note of desperate confession with accompanying sad nod) Kinda Mumma. Kinda nice. Kinda yucky. Sorry.

What's up with this?

Yesterday was Valentine's Day (if you didn't know that, the odds are good you pissed someone off). My parents were kind enough to take the girls off our hands for most of the day. We dropped them off and then were sort of mystified by what to do next. Two things were mystifying: one, how hard could it really be to think of something nice to do? two, how the heck did it happen that being solely responsible for a 15 pound, helpless, needy, pooping, slobbering baby feels like free time?

I went for coffee. We watched a movie at home. Then we went for dinner and watched the Canucks game. Maybe we aren't winning any awards for romance (do they give romance awards?) but it was a very pleasant day nonetheless.

I took Lukey for his shots on Tuesday. Doctors no longer have to administer shots in today's day and age. This filthy and time consuming task (read the dripping sarcasm here) has been farmed out to the Community Health nurses. Falling within the downtown catchment, which is strange, we had to hike over to Hornby and Drake to a super-urban facility. And when I say urban, what I mean is scary. It took me ten minutes to find the right room, after passing a needle exchange, a drug counseling clinic, an addiction study room, and an AIDS/HIV centre to find the teeny tiny little room where they inoculate newborns. Yeah, I thought it was weird too. Then Lukey was subjected to four needles; two in each leg. Hopefully it was the necessary immunization and not methadone or AZT...

me making work for myself...

Saturday Eric was home from work. The whole day was free. What do you do? Relax? Veg out? Push the husband and kids out the door to nurse the plague that befell me on Wednesday (no kidding...I'm not much of a whiner but holy crow, having the flu really does suck. I always secretly figured flu-shot takers were wussy people. I mean, deal with it you hot house flowers. But I might be coming around. Might be. No, not quite. They are wussy. Suck it up.).

Anyway, instead of taking a wise and self-preservational course of immune boosting, I decided to play the hero. I let Eric sleep since he was coming off two night shifts. I took the three kids to the Arbutus Club for open gym. I watched Molly and Finny torque around a gym in Little Tyke cars. Bizarrely, their favourite activity is playing drive thru. They come up to me in a line and order fast food. I take their money and pretend to misunderstand their orders: "Two ostrich burgers, hold the mustard but extra bird poop, two sewage salads with fecal dressing and one mucas shake...(cue childish laughter)...what do you mean you just wanted fries? That will be twenty five gabagillion dollars please..." This is good for endless fun.

Once the drive thru closed due to a devastating e coli infestation (or the playgroup was finished and we had to leave...whatever), Eric met us to take the girls skating. We took a couple of spins around the rink. It took about twice as long to get them outfitted for skating as they actually spent on the ice. Have you ever tried to get gloves on a two year old? No sooner do you wrangle in the pointer finger than the the ring finger has slipped back in with the pinky...man, is that ever annoying!

Then, a bite to eat. Then the girls and Eric went swimming while Lukey and I kept our germs to ourselves over coffee. And, because it was a beautiful, mild Vancouver day, we threw in a quick walk on the beach for good measure. And it was only 3:30.

Today I started painting our downstairs bathroom. I want it to be red and the lady at Home Depot said to expect six coats of paint. I have done two. So far, it doesn't look good. Anyone have any words of wisdom?

Peaceful evening

This is my couch companion. Eric went out bowling and I was left to watch the Office and ER with this little person. Unlike Eric, he was happy to hear me talk about plot lines and sitcom gossip. Alright, he was asleep the whole time, and Eric would be too. But Eric would have a scowl on his sleepy face, whereas Lukey is smiling a little bit. At least in my imagination.

The real deal

An example of a bad picture and an ok picture...how to you get three people looking so bad at the same time?




It's official. I am now the real mother of three small people. Why do I make this sudden statement now, more than two months after Lucas was born? At first there is some novelty. It seems like a big deal to take the new baby anywhere, even up a flight of stairs ("Oh Lucas, only your eighth time up stairs...who's going upstairs? What a big stair guy, going up the stairs...", you get the idea). Then you make a few tentative forays into the public world, maybe in stages with various combinations of kids.

Then, one day you realize that the testing stage is over. No more excuses that you have a new baby. No more denying that toting three kids around everywhere is your new life. In short, reality.

Having said that, reality is pretty great. Yesterday, the four of us (Eric was working) hit the road in the morning and came home right before dinner. We took Lukey to the doctor, where they continue to chart his porcine growth with interest. Then it was off to a family-friendly screening of "Happy Feet" at the Ridge Theatre. Despite some initial misgivings about the wisdom of taking three kids under five to a two+ hour movie (picture this: ten minutes in, Finny turns to me and says, "This is a long, long, long, long, long show. Me no watch. Me go Gram's house now". She ended up being great for the long haul even though the look on my face at that moment must have been hilarious...), everyone had a good time. With the possibly exception of me. I won't review the movie here, but suffice to say I have some issues with the message of a pretty bizarre film.

So, in summary: three kids = good. Especially when you have three good kids.


In other news, Eric's embarkation into the world of skates and sticks has been pretty successful. Last night the god of hockey smiled as he allowed Eric to score four goals in a row at his game last night. Not bad for the rookie. They lost the game 7-5. However, his teammates initial delight at his achievement turned to ridicule when he failed to celebrate post-game by turning himself into a beer soaked puddle. Sidenote: it's funny how people indulge in alcohol after sports play...you do well, then you kill enough brain cells to ensure that the same feat will be more difficult to duplicate. Hmmmm.

organic veggies galore!

What is better than fresh, organic fruit and veggies delivered directly to your door?

Alright, there are quite a few things better...a lot actually, but this is very nice.

Every two weeks we get a Rubbermaid bin filled with fruit and veg dropped off on our front porch. It is like going out on your farm and collecting all the bounty of the earth, fresh and glistening from the fields. Except your farm would have to be spread out between here and Mexico...and it would take a long time to harvest all these things anyway. Not that I could grow them considering I kill houseplants (seriously, Home Depot guarantees their plants for a year, no matter what kills them...they wish I had never darkened their door). Okay, so it really is less of a pastoral farm experience and more like tupperware on my porch, but it does feel good to have so many green things in my house.

I went to visit little Hannah again tonight and took over a pot of chili to fortify the parents of our new niece. She is just as cute as I remember. Tomorrow, the girls and Luke and I are going to an all-family screening of Happy Feet. The Ridge theatre opens to families with kids and has a special showing where no one can complain about errant child-noise disturbing the movie. Can you imagine an event more horrifying to non-parent people? I sure cannot. Wouldn't want to wander into that nightmare by mistake.

Welcome Hannah Maria Sturm

Yesterday night we got a new family member. Eric's sister and her partner Sven had a baby girl via C-section at BC Women's Hospital last night at 11 pm. Overjoyed to go to the hospital for some reason other than sharp labour pains of my own, all five of us went this afternoon to meet Hannah. Boy, the place sure does have a different vibe when it isn't you going through childbirth. Waaaaay more relaxed. Plus, it was amazing to see the difference two months of growth make...Lucas looked HUGE next to the newborn. Man, does that kid of mine ever have a big melon.

Hannah is a very cute little girl and we are very happy to have a new niece/cousin. We wish Mandy and Sven a joyous adjustment to parenthood. May the wee one sleep and sleep and sleep.

Doing crafts with kids

There are two kinds of crafts you can do with kids:

1. Total Chaos.
The kids have complete control of crayons, markers, glue, sparkles etc. The end product is something you discard. You compliment them. You tell them you love it. You might even put it on the fridge...for, like, six hours. But make no mistake. You will throw it away. If you can even pry the gluey monstrosity off of the table in one piece (fairly unlikely).

2. Organized Chaos.
You have an idea of what you want the children to make. There may even be "instructions". You assemble the necessary equipment, possibly even requiring a trip to a store to purchase a specific colour of pipe cleaner. You try your hardest to massage the kids into following the "instructions". Then you will settle for fulfillment of modified instructions, then just one, one little instruction. Then you give up and make it yourself. And either tell them that they made it, or if all else fails, that you made it for them. Then you throw it away.

This observation is prompted by my attempt to do a "dry run" on valentines. I tried to see what would be most realistic to expect the girls to make themselves (the answer? none. none, none, none). I ambitiously embarked on a woven paper heart shaped basket. Not only could they not do it, I couldn't do it. It took me about an hour to finally coax together something like a woven paper heart shaped basket. And then I gave it to Finny and told her I made it just for her...

Adventure

If anyone has seen The Pursuit of Happyness, you will know that most of the movie deals with Will Smith's character making homelessness seem "fun" for his son. I had a similar experience yesterday when Molly, Finny, Lucas and I were locked out of our house for three hours. Both the girls started a chorus of "Oh no", "How sad", and "What will we do?". You know the way kids are, they probably thought we would never get inside ever again. Looking at their stricken little faces, I went into damage control mode. Make no mistake, most of the damage control was done in an effort to reinforce that their mother was not a complete out and out idiot for letting it happen in the first place, but I also didn't want them to be sad. Soooooooo, we were off on an adventure!

Alright, you are two and/or four years old. You are not dressed very warmly (see above comment about idiot mother, but in my defense, I wasn't EXPECTING to be locked out...). What will qualify as a bona fide (and warm) adventure? Funds are limited.

We went up to London Drugs and bought a drink and snack for the journey, then hopped a bus out to UBC. It was toasty warm, it was moving, and it was something we wouldn't normally do. Sounds like an adventure to me.

We rode the bus out there, walked around and had a coffee (for me) and two cookies (for them), then tried to call the key-keeper (Eric) to no avail. Back on the bus for a return trip. The girls chatted non-stop the whole way and very little of the conversation had to do with me being a keyless moron. Fun was had. We grabbed some sushi and regained entry to our house. Instead of coming off like a no-brain dimwit, I was the bestest, most funest mom. Victory.

the kid is smiling!

It is incredibly difficult to capture the fleeting smiles of a very little baby. The trick is that not only are they quite quick, you very much want to enjoy them when they come instead of chasing after a camera and seeing the whole thing from behind a lens. Then there is the added problem that most of the pictures that you actually do capture look pretty horrible and nothing (or very little) like the heart-squeezingly, devastatingly adorable face that makes your insides liquify, all queasy with love and worry and love and more love.

So kudos to mum, who managed to get this shot today while she was watching Lucas at her house. Certainly not the pinnacle of cuteness, but at least 4% of the way to how sweet his wee face actually is when he breaks out in joy.

We had a very nice day, spent skating and swimming with the girlies, then meeting mum and Luke for lunch. As days go, pretty lovely.

Other than that, not much is happening. Eric is working this overnight tonight, which consists of sleeping in fits and starts in a portable about two blocks from here. I might sit down and watch The Grizzly Man, which we just got from Zip.ca. We started an urban compost system today, which I am optimistic about. And we just started getting organic fruits and vegetables delivered bi-weekly, which is great so far.

Oh, and on Monday, we enter week three with no washing machine. I have always been someone for whom piles of dirty, or at least worn, clothing accumulate all over. This habit has been compounded quite disasterously by having children (whose clothing coincidentally also exist in mountain formation). Apparently, exponential growth can be expected when washing shuts down. Who knew? Thank goodness my mother can be relied upon to do the wash...and deliver it back all folded, too. Maybe the washing machine will never be fixed...hmmmmm.

weird baby sleep

Any of you who have or have had babies in your daily life will know about the strange phenomenon that I am witnessing right now: the very creepy habit that little babies have of sleeping with their eyes either wide or partially open. Wee Lucas is asleep on the floor behind me (bizarre eye think aside, he's looking pretty darn adorable if I do say so...though you are no doubt aware that I have a biological predisposition to find him cute. Because, man, if I didn't, there would be no feedings in the middle of the night, no changing diapers filled with green-I-don't-know what-the-heck-that-is, no putting up with spit all over all of my shirts, no toleration of all the other...sorry, enough of that...). He is facing me. He is looking at/through me, all the while dreaming of whatever babies dream of: big, never emptying, milk-filled boobs or...um...well, that's probably it.

We are hanging out at home today, enjoying a house made very quiet by the absence of the two girls. Molly and Finny are out with Eric's mom, Eric is at "work" (I will explain the quote marks another time, but let's just say I would happily trade jobs with Eric some days...) and Lucas and I are here.

Our weekend was nice and quiet too. One highlight was getting to see half of the taping of the CBC radio show "Go". I got tickets online to be part of the studio audience, which I was excited about since I listen to the show most Saturdays. I left all three kids with Eric at our friend Steve's place, watching hockey. When I say watching hockey, I actually mean that Eric was watching hockey, probably twisting Luke's head so he would watch too (who knows how osmosis works?) and the girls had the run of the rest of Steve's apartment, finding goodness knows what to play with. It's a pretty great guy who takes three kids to a friends place like that.

I went down to the CBC studios and met Paulina for the show. When we went into the studio, a producer asked us if we would mind asking a couple of pre-determined questions to one of the speakers during the live tape. We said sure. I was given the question, "In the REM song, End of the World, what Russian leader is mentioned?" When my turn came to ask the question...keep in mind this is live...the speaker hazarded a guess, then asked me if he was right. This was a question I had been given...I had no idea what the answer was. In short, I was made to look pretty silly on national radio. Blast that selfish producer. Humiliation aside, I enjoyed the show very much.

Oh, and on my way in, the guy putting money in the parking meter next to me thought I was 24. That was nice too. Oh, the kindness of strangers.

Family life...four in a single tub...

One of my favourite things to do with my girls is take a nice, relaxing bath in the evening before bed. We all pile in and get clean. Now, however, we have a new member (with a member...sorry...) and the bath seems to be getting smaller. The two girls and Lucas and I got into the teeny, tiny bath this evening. An adventure...I am pretty sure there were about two tablespoons of water in there, distributed between all our many parts. You will notice that there is no photograph to accompany this particular topic in the blog. You can thank me now, you can thank me later. But believe me, you DO want to thank me.

Tomorrow we enter a new phase of family life. Molly and I will go to the Vancouver School Board offices to enroll her in Kindergarten. Because she was born in Germany, we need to drag out every piece of paper the poor child has had her name printed on in the last four years. I am going to take this opportunity to apologize to Moll for the endless years of monotonous paperwork she will be forced to endure, all because her mom and dad were so selfishly residing in Stuttgart at the time of her birth. Sorry Molly.

Yikes. The school years are now officially breathing down our necks.

The Dorner's visit

I'm now in the regular work routine at my newly full time job as a First Aid attendant on the RAV/Canada line. I am doing a 2 days then 2 nights on (followed by 4 days off) shift rotation, which is good preparation for the fire fighting job to follow (yes, I'm still expecting that to happen, eventually). In between shifts, we headed down to Point Roberts for 3 days of cold and snow. Most of our time was spent around the warm fire playing board games with the girls and watching movies from our Zip.ca account. It was so cold I didn't get a chance to try out my Christmas present, a new chainsaw.

We came back from the Point in time for my Sunday afternoon basketball and hockey games. I now have a few days of work before I head off to Phoenix for a couple days with Les' dad. These pictures are from our trip to Whistler (with a stop at the Stanley Park totem poles) just after the new year with the Dorners.

Out of contact

Well intrepid blog readers (and by this I mean my mom and dad...), in order to prevent feelings of abandonment, I felt it necessary to mention that my lack of update is due to my lack of computer. We are down in Point Roberts and I am sipping my coffee at the Cafe Capanna, looking out to an angry gray ocean. We will be back in the connected world tomorrow, but I didn't want anyone to feel neglected.

We've made our bed...

...and now we'll lie in it. We welcomed another new addition to our home today: our brand new king-size bed. We have three kids...all five of us really need to fit in a bed. Most of you reading this will know that the Butler/McKnight REALLY like their sleep. Even the little ones. Look at the disgusted expression on Molly and Finley's faces in that picture. They are just bummed the bed isn't for them. Since we are lazy/sleepy people, we sprang for the big bed. To give you an idea how big, you can see how little Lucas is lying there in the picture.

And to give you an idea of how not that small little Lucas is, we went to the doctor yesterday to give him the once over and make sure that he hasn't lost any fingers and/or toes since birth. In all honesty, that is about the extent of the medical examination. I suspect that I probably could have done away with a few of Lucas's smaller appendages without raising any suspicions. They do weigh the babies though. And Lucas was big.

Eric and I made a vow when we had children that we would not become percentile spouting weirdos like so many parents. But brace yourselves...I am about to do that which we promised we would not. WARNING: A percentile is coming.

Lucas is really big. He is in the 97 percentile for weight and head circumference. He's gained more than 1.5 kilos in the last four weeks. Porker.

The Great Skate

And so it begins...the endless parade of taxi-ing children to programs, lessons, activities and courses. The two girls started skating lessons this morning. Shockingly, they were really good. I was fully prepared for a scene very much like the part in Bambi when the deer hits the ice. Instead, they were not bad. Not bad at all. Tellingly however, the highlight for both of them was not the feeling of confidence they had or the thrill of obtaining competence at a new skill. It was overwhelmingly the procurement of butterfly stickers stuck on their (bike) helmets at the end of the lesson. Making gingerbread men was a close second place, which consisted of lying on the ice and being traced around with a brown felt marker. Pretty passive activity there, what with not moving at all. Probably teaches "oneness" with the ice or something. Well, whatever. They liked it.

Eric and I went to Body Worlds 3 at Science World yesterday. Rather than terrify the girls, we left them with Eric's mom and hoped that Lucas wouldn't be too scarred by the fact that he spent an entire afternoon, out of only 38 afternoons in his entire life, looking at plastinated human bodies, sliced apart and contorted into gruesome/artistic poses. Maybe he'll be a doctor...or a serial murderer...? Hmmmm.

We really enjoyed the exhibition. It was well done and very thought-provoking. Plus, a little voyeuristic and creepy. What's not to love?

A day in the life (Dec 30th to be exact)

Exhausting!

Well, maybe exhausting isn't really a fair description. Although, it would be fair to say that I would love to crop my disgusting, yawning face out of that cute shot of Lucas and Finny. This newborn little guy (yikes, one month old tomorrow!) is making life pretty easy on us. Having said that, I am typing while holding him on my shoulder and periodically patting his back to get rid of his hiccoughs, so it's all relative. Never exactly the fastest typer, this is a definite speed-killer. Oh, and Finny is yanking my hair, standing behind me in my chair. But, sleep has been plentiful. We woke up this morning at almost 11:00. Lucas and I were the last to face the day, the two of us peacefully cuddled in a warm bed.

Yesterday, we showed our German friends, the Dorners, around downtown a little bit, then toured Stanley Park, which has only just reopened after the catastrophic wind storm that toppled what appears to be half the trees in the park. Prospect Point looks like a clear cut. Even though the whole "windstorm of the century" thing has been covered pretty much non-stop in the media, I was shocked by how wrecked the park landscape is.

After touring the disaster-zone, we headed to our friend Steve's house to watch the Phoenix Suns game and then the Canucks game. He has a pimping entertainment centre there...huge plasma HDTV, fancy cable box that gets 19,000,000 channels and surround sound. Makes our dinky arrangement seem pretty much like a prehistoric system of entertainment...our wee little old-school tube television. We can hangout here and more or less watch a candle burn in the darkness or head to Steve's and be dazzled by a fantastic display of technological wizardry. The candle is sooooo pretty.

Tomorrow we are off to Whistler for the night with the Germans. Should be nice as I haven't been there for a while.